Emotional Development

Hormones. These critical chemicals in the brain that bring about physical changes also affect adolescents’ moods and heighten their emotional responses. These characteristics together mean that teens are more easily swayed by emotion and have difficulty making decisions that adults find appropriate.¹ Adolescence also is a time of rapid and sometimes stressful changes in peer relationships, school expectations, family dynamics, and safety concerns in communities. The body responds to stress by activating specific hormones and activities in the nervous system so that the person can respond quickly and perform well under pressure. The stress response kicks in more quickly for adolescents than it does for adults whose brains are fully developed and can moderate a stress response. Not all stressors are bad. Positive experiences such as landing a first job or getting a driver’s permit can trigger a stress response that enables adolescents to approach a challenge with alertness and focus.

Self-management. By managing their own emotions, adolescents can establish positive goals and gain foresight into how their emotions can influence their goals and futures. To improve their ability to manage emotions, adolescents must first learn to recognize and describe strong, complex emotions. Although young people learn to describe basic emotions earlier in life, as they get older, they develop an ability to truly grasp what emotions are and understand their impact. When adolescents can recognize how they feel, they can choose how they will react to a situation. They also learn to avoid the problems that strong emotions sometimes cause. However, because the brain’s frontal lobe—which is responsible for reasoning, planning, and problem-solving as well as emotions—does not fully develop until the mid-twenties, adolescents may find it difficult to manage their emotions and think through the consequences of their actions. Over time and with the support of parents and helpful adults, adolescents can develop reasoning and abstract thinking skills that enable them to step back, examine their emotions, and consider consequences before acting rashly.

Self-esteem. How people feel about themselves–or the way they perceive their own talents, characteristics, and life experiences–can affect their sense of their own worth. An adolescent’s self-esteem can be influenced by approval from family, support from friends, and personal successes. Research shows that adolescents with a positive self-concept experience greater academic success than do adolescents who lack this quality. Concerns about body image also are common and can provide opportunities for parents, teachers, and other caring adults to teach self-care, offer encouragement, and reinforce a positive body image. For some adolescents, the concern for body image is extreme and–when combined with other warning signs–may indicate an eating disorder. Eating disorders are one type of mental health problem among adolescents. However, feeling good about oneself does not necessarily protect against risky behaviors. Therefore, it is still important to limit adolescents’ exposure to risky situations and empower young people to make healthy choices when they inevitably come across such a situation.

Identity formation. There are many facets to identity formation, which includes developmental tasks such as becoming independent and achieving a sense of competence. Adolescents may question their passions and values, examine their relationships with family and peers, and think about their talents and definitions of success. Identity formation is an iterative process during which adolescents repeatedly experiment with different ideas, friends, and activities. This experimentation is normal and can provide adolescents opportunities to learn more about themselves and others, but it is not always balanced with thoughtfulness or a cognitive ability to consider the consequences of their actions. Although this path to finding one’s identity can prove challenging for some families, it also can motivate adolescents to learn about themselves and become more confident in their own, unique identities.

Stress. Adolescents live in a variety of environments and experience a wide range of stressors that affect emotional development. Learning healthy responses to stressful situations is part of normal development, and some stress can even be positive. However, some adolescents face particularly traumatic events, such as experiencing or witnessing physical or sexual abuse, or school violence. Some of these events are prolonged or recurring, such as chronic neglect or being bullied. Some adolescents also must deal with multiple types of traumatic stress. These more extreme forms of stress, often referred to as toxic stress, can weaken an adolescent’s immune system, resulting in chronic physical health problems and potentially leading to depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Toxic stress also can lead to stress-related diseases and cognitive impairment in adulthood. Adolescents who experience this form of stress also are more likely to use harmful substances, engage in other risky behaviors,² and experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition in which a person relives a traumatic event through persistent memories or flashbacks and experiences other symptoms such as insomnia, angry outbursts, or feeling tense. However, people respond to stress differently, and a strong support system can help protect adolescents from long-lasting negative effects and create an environment that enables youth to thrive.

Make your own emotional well-being a priority. You may find it helpful to join a parent group where you can safely navigate your feelings with people who understand your point of view. Being mindful of emotional well-being is especially valuable for people working with adolescents who have experienced trauma. The Vicarious Trauma Toolkit can help victim services providers, law enforcement personnel, emergency responders, and other professionals address the emotional impact of their work.

Practice healthy goal setting. Let go of ideas of perfection for adolescents and yourself. Set realistic goals and break them into smaller tasks that are easier to manage. When you come up against an obstacle or experience a failure, focus on what you can control, and let go of the things that you cannot.

Value every adolescent’s unique identity. Even when you do not relate to an adolescent’s feelings or experiences, your understanding and respect as a parent or caring adult goes a long way.

Resolve conflicts with respect for others. When you disagree with someone, remember what you like about the person and focus on resolving the issue at hand instead of assigning blame. Take time to cool off and think things through when you start to feel overwhelmed. Family conflicts can be especially stressful given the intense emotions and relationship dynamics at play.

Manage your anger. Practicing relaxation exercises and using humor to diffuse a tense situation are a couple strategies you can use to manage your anger. Seek professional help if you are unsure of what to do.